RANT: IN DEFENSE OF BED-ROTTING

What’s more cozy in the dark days of winter than curling up in bed with a fluffy duvet, heated blankie and a laptop playing trash Netflix? 

Yes, the “bed rotting” trend is in full swing with many millennials and Gen Z.

Call it soft living, the end of “optimizing” ourselves or an anti-hustle culture resistance movement taking place in our sheets—but I think it suggests that many of us are craving more stress-free life, and bed rotting feels like a big F you to messaging that we need to do more, more, more.

I say this curled up in bed at 3pm, as I watch Saltburn and send TikToks of the smokeshow that is Jacob Elordi to my sister. But like so many enjoyable things (cough, drinking), apparently this is yet another no-no for troubled sleepers.

And so it came as no surprise that when my sleep specialists asked me about my bed habits, they looked unimpressed when I tried to justify bedrotting as some kind of modern day, anti-establishment Bed-ins for Peace statement.

You see it comes down to a little thing called sleep hygiene. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Gwyneth Paltrow likes to call it “clean sleeping.”

These are the habits, behaviours and environmental factors that you can adjust to have a good night's sleep. The reason why we should avoid our bed until bedtime is because we want our brains to associate our bed with two things: sleep or sex. 

That’s it. No Hulu, no snacking, no TikToking…no “rotting.”

the best way to bed rot, hands down. via @pinterest

"In my experience, limiting the amount of time spent in bed is one of the most effective techniques insomniacs can use to improve their sleep," said insomnia coach Martin Reed. And a 2020 study confirmed that restricting time spent in bed reduced the severity of insomnia symptoms. 

And here’s why it matters: 10-15% of people experience chronic insomnia and women are a whopping 40%  more likely to have insomnia than men are (source). But even if you don’t have insomnia, it’s just good practice for a better night’s sleep.

If you have the winter blues, or you’re suffering from depression, our bed feels like a safe oasis where we can feel emotionally comfortable. I get the temptation: sometimes when I’m anxious, I just want to be nestled up in my little cave.

But if you’re doing it often, it’s important to ask yourself why: is this an act of self-care? Or are you giving up on participating in life?

“There is no shame in doing that every once in a while, as long as it isn’t happening so frequently that it is having a negative impact on your life,” says Paige Rechtman, a licensed psychotherapist.

“So it may be helpful to think in terms of how being in bed makes you feel in the short-term versus the long-term," she says. "Is this short-term comfort actually feeding into long-term avoidance or hopelessness? Or is it replenishing me in a way that will help me feel more energized and recovered down the line?”

The good news? I have a hack.

I’m all about solutions. One thing I detest about the wellness space is the constant messaging that if we aren’t perfect, we’re bad. Let’s cut the shaming and come up with real-world compromises for the behaviors we KNOW we are going to fall into sometimes.

So here’s what you do…sofa rotting. That’s right–grab your duvet, pile those pillows up high, plug in that warm blankie, prep a little chai tea–make yourself a nest in your living room. By jeujing up your sofa, you can preserve your mental bed-sleep connection (and your rotting ritual) Cause no one said ANYTHING about being lazy and comfy somewhere else. 

And if you find you’re engaging in slothfulness a little too much—there are some alternative restorative activities that might hit the spot, like time in nature, meditation, a ten minute ‘legs up the wall’ inversion, a hot bath, or a gentle stretch.

On that note: I've put together a free checklist of 40 relaxing evening activitites to choose from + an hourly planner to help you get better habits in place. Check it out.